Good Riddance, No Labels!

For as long as they have existed, No Labels have wanted one thing: to matter. But these self-styled centrist “problem solvers,” who’ve yet to advance anything resembling a political solution, have always faced substantial obstacles, mainly that they’re a venal gaggle of cosseted Beltway elites with no real constituency in the broader public. That they’ve been allowed to persist with their cotton-headed paeans to bipartisanship is a testament to structural problems with our political system (which is awash in money and enables too many people who care about nothing but maintaining power to come to Washington) and the commentariat (which is packed to the brim with thunderously credulous dolts).

But after more than a decade cashing checks from the biggest fools in the donor class (and some of the biggest assholes as well), No Labels’ demise finally appears imminent. The Wall Street Journal reported on Thursday that the group has abandoned its plan to field an independent third-party presidential ticket on account of the fact that no actual candidate wanted to have anything to do with the effort. That means the fear that the group might play spoiler and hand the White House to Donald Trump—which it seemed to want—is over. In a statement, No Labels founder Nancy Jacobson said the organization “would remain engaged in promoting unity and giving voice to America’s commonsense majority.” Here’s a thought: Quit instead.

This has been a stupendously silly journey. A month ago, after prevaricating for the better part of a year, No Labels announced that they were moving “forward with the process of forming a presidential ticket to run in the 2024 election,” which everyone thought they had already been doing all this time. And yet, it made headlines. Give these terminally inside-the-Beltway toffs some credit: You can’t become a Washington lifer without mastering the art of making news out of nothing at all. If you can successfully pass activity off as achievement in This Town, more often than not the gravy train will keep on running.

But behind the scenes, matters were considerably more grim. In leaked audio that TNR’s Greg Sargent obtained, it became clear that the organization had “no idea whether it will be able to move forward” with its electoral ambitions. “No serious candidates appear interested,” Sargent reported at the time, “and there’s no sign that this is changing.” A month on, matters had not improved. In mid-March, Geoff Duncan became the latest in a long list of candidates—including GOP primary also-ran Nikki Haley, West Virginia filibuster fanboy Joe Manchin, and former Maryland Governor Larry Hogan—to decline to be the organization’s sacrificial lamb, ending any or all opportunities to finally answer the question: “Who is Geoff Duncan?” (He is apparently the former lieutenant governor of Georgia, but I invite you to double-check.)

Meanwhile, the group was considerably hampered by the recent death of founding chairman Joe Lieberman, whose stalwart defense of the organization was fully in keeping with the former Connecticut senator’s quarter-century-long conniption fit. As the Associated Press reported, Lieberman’s passing “not only mark[ed] an irreplaceable loss for No Labels, it inject[ed] a new level of uncertainty into the organization’s 2024 ambitions.” According to the AP, Mitt Romney, Chris Christie, and Brian Kemp had also turned down the chance to be the organization’s presidential candidate. So many people have rejected this group’s advances that I honestly have a hard time keeping track. (Did you turn down the chance to be the No Labels presidential candidate? Let me know!)

In an effort to prove that there is no way of taking No Labels seriously, Politico’s Alexander Burns offered some last-ditch the tongue-in-cheek advice that the organization should enlist some entertainer or outside-the-Beltway “provocateur” to be its standard-bearer instead of the “bloodless and gray” career dweebs it’s approached. As former Jesse Ventura strategist Bill Hillsman told Burns, No Labels’ efforts were “misconstrued from the beginning,” arguing that “few voters” would be inclined to see “a unity ticket forged from within the political establishment as an answer for their grievances with the system.”

I can’t stress enough that an organization led by Lieberman and Beltway donor doyenne Jacobson is physiologically incapable of imagining an outsider in its ranks. Perhaps that’s why a former Bush administration official recommended in a Hill op-ed that the group go ahead and put Lieberman on the ticket, even though he’s dead. (Come to think of it, a Weekend at Bernie’s presidency would be preferable to a second Trump term.)

At any rate, I have a better idea: No Labels should fold. This organization has a sad and decrepit legacy of timidity and corruption, and as Meredith Shiner reported in 2014, it isn’t even sincere in its core beliefs: Internal documents revealed that its leadership was “banking on more political dysfunction in an attempt to find ‘opportunity’ and relevance for itself.” And let’s face it: The day the organization handed Trump its “problem solver” endorsement during the 2016 presidential primaries should have marked the end of taking it seriously.

Alas, two presidential cycles later, these lowlifes’ grift persists. But now that their “unity ticket” plan to doom the republic has come to naught, all of the people who’ve hitherto been fleeced by them, financially or ideologically, should wise up and pull the plug. The rest of us can only be grateful that No Labels’ last hurrah—much like all of their grand designs—foundered without bringing ruin to us all. Still, it’s a searing indictment of the United States that people with such bad ideas can ascend to such great heights that they could help trigger our democracy’s demise.

This article was adapted from Power Mad, a weekly TNR newsletter authored by deputy editor Jason Linkins. Sign up here.