GREG GUTFELD: Kamala's rehashing Joe's dirty tricks to get elected
'Gutfeld!' panelists react to a letter from former military and intel offers endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris.
So, this week, the National Security Leaders for America, a "bipartisan group of former military and intel officers," released a letter endorsing the candidate they think will make a better president. And it'll make you feel as secure as a broken strap on Brian Stelter's bra. It reads in part, "We are Republicans, Democrats and Independents loyal to the ideals of our nation-- like freedom, democracy, and the rule of law -- not to any one individual or party." Yeah, and they want you to believe the best representative for those ideals is Kamala.
Yes, Harris, who shows as much respect for rule of law as P Diddy, though she's probably a better rapper. The funniest part? Out of all the names in the letter, nine of the biggest ones, including Clapper, John Brennan, Panetta, also signed another letter, you might recall. Remember our favorite pirate, Captain Rehab? Remember how he left a laptop full of incriminating evidence at a repair shop, then abandoned it like an out-of-wedlock child? And how messages connecting his old man to cash dealings with China and Ukraine were wedged between the homemade porn like Hunter and a hooker sandwich? And how they all denied it even existed when it threatened to derail his father's campaign for president.
Well, then, you also remember what saved Joe's candidacy: an open letter-- from 51 former intel hacks claiming Hunter's laptop had "all the classic earmarks of a Russian information operation." This, of course, was a lie and also an incorrect use of the word earmarks. They actually meant hallmark, not earmark. Earmark means how the government designates your tax money to spend like Dana Perino at a tattoo parlor. You know, on essential stuff like foreign wars, domestic spying and drag queen story hour.
KAMALA HARRIS PLANS TO SKIP HISTORIC AL SMITH DINNER DESPITE LONG-STANDING TRADITION
Of course, once Joe was safely in office, that cover story blew up like a Hezbollah pager. But it was too late. The lie worked. The laptop was real. They knew it was real. They lied because they were desperate to put the Dems back in power after years of Trump's hideous peace and prosperity.
But that's what spies do. They lie. Ask Dianne Feinstein's driver or Swalwell's mistress or Hochul's former deputy chief of staff. There are fewer Chinese people in the kitchen at Panda Express. Joe then used that corrupt letter as a fig leaf to cover his withered dong of deception. Putin has done a lot of things, to be sure, but that was 100% Democrat. So, yeah, the liars who signed that letter also signed Kamala's endorsement. She'd be so happy to see that, provided someone reads it to her. So they're doing the same thing they did four years ago and for the same reason. It's bad enough Harris is just rehashing Biden's ideas.
Now she's rehashing his dirty tricks to get elected. She can't even be original when she's being dishonest. So who would these endorsements sway? Well, just look at who's telling you to vote Democrat. The CIA. The IRS. Dick Cheney. Taylor Swift. All deceptive forces of evil. Especially Swift. I mean, look what she's done to her boyfriend. This season he's scoring less than Brian Kilmeade at a lesbian coffee shop. Taylor pretended to be a country singer to become America's sweetheart, then turned on us like a hotter, thinner and female Liz Cheney.
But who in America was on the fence about this election until a bunch of spies endorsed cackling McKnee pads? The last time we saw an act of desperation like this was Pelosi's facelift. One more and her belly button will be on her forehead. But like Hunter, near the end of a cocaine binge, they're grasping at straws. And you'd be too. While the Dems are sweating like Chris Christie in a Zumba class, Trump's meeting voters and ducking bullets. He even joked about being on this show last week, where our 5 million viewers crushed Kamala's massage session like Oprah sitting on a bag of Doritos. Even though, maybe I said on the show, you know, I don't love this guy.
DONALD TRUMP: But Gutfeld said on the show, he said, you know, I don't love this guy, but, man, everything he touches, he fixes. He gets it done. Our country was doing great. We had the best economy. And he asked for an interview. And I said, you know, I'll do it, but I'm begrudgingly. Ten minutes. I don't really want to do it because he doesn't like me. I guess I don't like anybody that doesn't like me. I'll be honest. When they don't like me, I don't like them, OK? Sounds childish. That's the way it is. Call it a personality defect.
I don't like anybody who doesn't like me. That is honesty, people. And it looks like more and more people are liking Trump, too. According to the latest New York Times poll, Trump leads in the battleground states of Arizona, Georgia and North Carolina. If he wins them in November, he'd only need to win one of either Michigan, PA or Wisconsin. Then it's over.
Damn, if only Joe's brain hadn't shriveled up like a raisin under a sunlamp. Now he's left his party with the only dope who makes even him look more qualified. Maybe that was the point..
