Our children's clothes matter. Here's what science and religion teach us
We parents who want our children to thrive during the school year should consider the specific gifts and challenges of each child – and dress them accordingly.
In the past two weeks, a quintessentially local story became news around the world. The Charles Middle School in El Paso, Texas, banned all-black clothing for the coming school year because such attire "has become more associated with depression and mental health issues and/or criminality than with happy and healthy kids ready to learn."
The response was fast and furious. Krista Wongate, the chief of child and adolescent services at El Paso’s Emergence Health Network said: "... mental health and depression, they don’t have colors. They don’t have outfits."
Alex Lucero, a member of the community, objected as well. He said: "The color of clothing has nothing to do with your ability to do anything or feel any emotion."
The response worked. The dress code was revoked.
As is always the case with social, cultural, psychological and political questions, there is one book to consult for guidance – the Torah.
Let’s start with Genesis 28, perhaps the pivotal movement in the early history of the Jewish people. Rebecca has a few hours to prevent her husband, Isaac, from making a huge mistake, and giving the blessing of eternal Jewish leadership to their impulsive, unthoughtful and undisciplined son Esau.
She has an alternative: Esau’s twin, Jacob. If Rebecca can convince Isaac that Jacob is really Esau, her husband will – mistakenly but irrevocably – give the blessing to Jacob. The future of God’s project on earth is in her hands, at that moment.
The problem: Jacob, we are told, "dwelt in tents" – indicating that he spent his time studying, apart from the difficult doings of the world. He has never done anything like the trickery she needs him to perform. How can Rebecca get Jacob to immediately become like Esau. She has the solution. She tells Jacob to put on his brother’s "favorite clothes."
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Why Esau’s "favorite clothes"? Why, for that matter, Esau’s clothes at all? Isaac is blind, and would have no idea what Jacob was wearing. The clothes were not to deceive Isaac. They were to change Jacob. Rebecca knew that we become what we wear. Sure enough, the young man who "dwelt in tents" pulls the most important ruse of all time.
Moving from the first to the last book of the Torah – Deuteronomy – there is a speech from Moses about what the Jewish people will need to emphasize in order to be a free people in the Promised Land.
Moses, amplifying a law from Leviticus, commands: "You shall not wear wool and linen together." The ancient rabbis interpreted this commandment so strictly that they ruled that one who finds himself in public wearing wool and linen should take off those clothes rather than continue!
Why is the commandment against mixing wool and linen so important? It relates to the Torah’s idea of separation. We sanctify things by separating them. For instance, we sanctify the Sabbath by separating it from all other days. We sanctify marriage, formally under the chuppah (the marriage canopy), by separating our wife from all other women. The prohibition on mixing wool and linen has us wear the concept of separation, so that it is always a part of who we are.
Is the guidance throughout the Torah that we become what we wear correct?
For Pittsburgh sports,1979 was a great year. The Steelers had won the Super Bowl and the Pirates had won the World Series. But there was a problem.
The Penguins had started the season by winning less than half of their games. They made one change that was entirely within their control. They changed their uniforms – from white and blue to black and gold. There was a result, but it did not show in the win-loss column. The Penguins, after they changed their uniforms, had a 50% increase in their number of penalties.
The Cornell University professors Thomas Gilovich and Mark Frank set out to determine if this was a fluke. It wasn’t. They examined the penalty data for the NFL and the NHL from 1970 to 1986. Of the 28 teams in the NFL, five wore black uniforms. These teams had the first, third, seventh, eighth, and 12th most penalties. Of the 23 teams in the NHL, five wore black uniforms. These teams had the first, second, third, sixth and 10th most penalties.
Is there anything unique about sports that might explain how clothing profoundly affects performance? No. The reasons and evidence showing that we become what we wear has been demonstrated in activities from heavy metal drumming to math test-taking – and are discussed in the chapter on clothing in my forthcoming book "God was Right: How Modern Social Science Proves the Torah is True."
A quintessential example came from Northwestern University in 2012. Professors Hajo Adam and Adam Galinsky gave the same kind of white coat to two groups of study participants. They told one group that the coat was a painter’s coat. They told the other group that it was a doctor’s coat.
The result: those who were told it was a doctor’s coat did far better on tasks that required careful attention to detail. Galinsky explained, "Clothes invade the body and brain, putting the wearer into a different psychological state."
In recent years, a new discipline has emerged at universities across the world – fashion psychology. Degrees in fashion psychology are offered at Purdue, Pepperdine, Arizona State, the London School of Fashion and other universities. One of the leaders in this emerging field is Karen Pine of the University of Hertfordshire.
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Professor Pine’s research has led her to conclude that it is possible to contemplate "a wardrobe of 'happy clothes,' as protection against ever feeling miserable again." She recommends: distinctive jewelry, playful patterns evoking childhood, flowered prints that signify health, and bright colors that connect us with nature.
There is now a term for what Pine described: Dopamine Dressing. Dopamine Dressing is the concept that clothing choices significantly influence the release of dopamine, the "feel good" neurotransmitter associated with feelings of pleasure, motivation, satisfaction and joy.
While Pine’s specific recommendations may be novel and helpful, the general truth she tells should resonate widely given recent lived experience. In March 2020, when COVID-19 struck, millions of people suddenly found themselves working from home. The customary workplace norms and customs quickly became obsolete. How should people working from home adapt? One guiding principle emerged, especially among those mindful of mental health.
On March 17, 2020, the BBC highlighted this as the No. 1 recommendation in their article, "Coronavirus: Five Ways to Work Well From Home": Get dressed. A variety of studies published after the pandemic confirm that those who dress formally for work are more mentally fit, productive and successful than those who do not – whether the work is at home or in the office.
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So the Torah, validated by modern social science and experience, does for El Paso what it always does: it illuminates the path of truth for any social, cultural, psychological or political question.
The Charles Middle School administrators were absolutely right that a student’s attitude and performance will be profoundly affected by the clothes he or she wears. They were right again in concluding that wearing all black clothing is inadvisable for a cohort of students who might be struggling with mental health issues.
They were wrong only in conceding to clearly erroneous ideas that "mental health and depression… don’t have outfits" and that "the color of clothing has nothing to do with your ability to do anything or feel any emotion."
Within the next few weeks, our children will be back at school. We parents are preparing them in all kinds of ways – from school supplies to class selection, from organizing transportation to choosing after-school activities, from easing social anxieties to getting doctor’s appointments.
The Torah and social science converge to tell us parents: Remember what just might be the important thing – which is what your children wear. The primary function of clothing, the divine and scientific voices are telling us, has nothing to do with temperature control or aesthetics. It has everything to do with helping us to feel, think and act as we want to.
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How might parents help our children in this back-to-school season? We could follow the wisdom of King Solomon, who told us: "Educate the child according to his way" – with, crucially, the "his" being singular. We parents who want our children to thrive in this school year should consider the specific gifts and challenges of each child – and dress them accordingly.
If we have a daughter who is struggling with depression, we should take the advice of Pine and fill her closet with bright colors and floral prints.
If we have a son who is struggling with confidence issues, we should channel our inner Rebecca and tell him to go to school in his "favorite clothes" – his jerseys of Tom Brady, Kobe Bryant or Aaron Judge.
If we have a child who gets distracted doing his homework, we should tell him to put on a button-down shirt and pressed pants – even, and perhaps especially, if he studies alone in his bedroom.
We can explain to our children, and to ourselves, that there is nothing pediatric about this advice. It is universal. We adults should, as well, think about how we want to feel and who we want to be – and dress accordingly!
