Pamela Anderson says being ‘sexualized’ made life ‘difficult’ for young sons

It's always a jarring realization for a child to learn their parents have a whole life outside of caring for them, eclipsing the narrative that they are just Mom or Dad. 

For Pamela Anderson's sons, they were confronted with the reality that their mother is a sex symbol, a label Anderson says she eventually accepted after having it oversaturated in the media and heavily fixated upon by the public.

Years removed from her historic 14 covers of Playboy Magazine or her iconic swim run in "Baywatch," Anderson spoke about how being sexualized impacted her sons, Brandon and Dylan, who she shares with ex-husband and Mötley Crüe drummer, Tommy Lee.

PAMELA ANDERSON SUFFERED 'DEBILITATING' SHYNESS BEFORE DOING PLAYBOY: 'HATED THE WAY I LOOKED'

In a new episode from Variety Studio: Actors on Actors, Anderson reflected on her life choices, admitting that sexualization was "difficult" not only for her, but also for her sons.

"Being a working mom and being in this entertainment world and even having your mom be sexualized in some way, like a lot of the things I went through, I didn’t realize my kids were going through them at the same time. So, as adult children, we talk about that a lot," she told actress Mikey Madison of her sons, 28 and 26, respectively. "You kind of beg forgiveness for your adult children," she said.

In a 2019 interview on "The View," Anderson admitted she was predominately able to shield her kids from the sex symbol moniker: "I kept them out of the limelight. They went to school in Canada."

In terms of explicit images, Anderson said they didn't become an issue until her boys were teens.

"They didn't see anything like that probably till high school. And I was waiting – age appropriately – to kind of tell them you don't do these things thinking you're going to horrify your children, but of course it does," she said, noting there had been "a few fistfights at school" as a result of the images.

But Anderson is adamant that she's not ashamed of her past. The star, who has made a resurgence partially due to her portrayal of a veteran performer in the upcoming film, "The Last Showgirl," said she was able to pull from her past for this particular role.

The actress, 57, explained during the "Actors on Actors" conversation that she was "able to bring a lot of my own personal experience, my kind of long life of dealing with beauty and glamour and aging and reassessing life choices," to the movie, a role that secured Anderson her first Golden Globe nomination. "So I got to bring my whole life, really, into this role. It was such a relief to be able to play something where I could express myself that way," she continued.

"I’m not ashamed of my life. I'm not ashamed of the choices that I made, even though maybe in hindsight I would’ve done things differently. But you need life experience to know that you would’ve done that differently."

 "I think the past shouldn’t dictate your future. And I really like to live in the moment, and I really want to enjoy this time in my life. But looking back in hindsight, I was always creating characters. And I feel like – I know I’ve created a few Halloween costumes, even. But they were memorable characters, so I just take it as a compliment."

Creating characters was a way for Anderson to manage the media's rampant interest in her. But before embracing it, she did her best to avoid any of that chatter altogether.

"I was really clear," she told Dax Shepard last year while on his podcast, Armchair Expert. "I don't want tabloids around me, including every magazine. I just wouldn't have it around me, because, of course, you'd find yourself looking at something and getting really hurt by it. So I said, ‘I just can't see it. Please don't have it near me.'"

"I just took it out of my eyesight, but then, you know, I'd go on a trip to Europe or something," saying that headlines were outrageous. She remembered thinking, "Who is that person? Who are they talking about?" 

"I'm half naked on the cover of different things and all over the place, like I've turned into a cartoon character. Then I started playing into the cartoon character."

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She reiterated this in an interview with Better Homes & Gardens in August after hitting a slew of carpets without wearing any makeup.

"That was the beginning of me letting go of the image I had always had of myself. ‘What is this cartoon character that I’d created? OK, that was fun. But I’m not that person anymore.’ It was a dance I was doing that I was only partly aware of. And looking back, I can see why I did it," she said. "But I’ve always been into being a homemaker, too. All the kids were always at our house. I cooked for everybody, pots of spaghetti for the neighborhood, and so my kids have always seen that part of me. And it hurt them to think that those other things are the only things people think of their mom. Yes, she’s been in Playboy. Yes, she’s done all these things, but we know who she is. It’s different now."

After being packaged to the public as a sex symbol for years, Anderson's take on aging might be different from a lot of Hollywood stars.

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"I can’t wait to see myself old. I always said I’d recognize myself when I was old in the mirror. I want to let my hair go kind of natural gray, put my little straw hat on, don’t wear makeup. I mean, that’s my comfortable kind of state," she told Shepard, admitting that "classic beauties" are the ones having "a really hard time with aging."

"I always felt a little funny-looking, so I don't think it's as hard for me, and I don’t want to chase that, and I don’t want to do all the crazy s--- to myself," she added.

Hence, no makeup on red carpets.

"Chasing youth is just futile," she said while attending the Victoria Beckham show this year. "You're never going to get there. So why not embrace what's going on? And since I've really walked out the door as me, I feel like a relief, just a weight off my shoulders. And I actually like it better. I'm dressing for me now, not for everybody else."