Sketch: PMQs falls flat – do Sunak and Starmer not get the rules?

With the Tories immersed in a leadership contest and Labour emerging from weeks of freebie headlines and internal drama, Westminster watchers will have turned to this week’s PMQs for a much needed injection of drama. Grab your popcorn, it’s box office time.

Surely the acting leader of the Conservative Party could at least muster up a half convincing attack on Sir Shops-a-Lot (your own puns on a postcard)? Alas, despite clearly gleeful at being – finally – the one to get to ask the irritating questions, Sunak – like a lost Amazon driver – mostly failed to deliver the goods.

His best Sue Gray jibe about precisely when the PM became a fan of fire and rehire appeared to be lifted from the Daily Mail political editor Jason Grove’s X feed, as eagle eared lobby hacks were brutally swift to point out. And his next most successful joke, that even the ever-generous Lord Alli “wasn’t buying any of” Starmer’s answers even garnered a laugh from the PM himself.

But that appeared to be part of the problem, in all honesty. Laughing at each other’s jokes, Starmer referencing Sunak’s own time “at this despatch box”, and Sunak – fairly enough on this one – pledging his support to the government over security matters. Guys! You’re meant to spend PMQs tearing strips off each other, and crowing in your opponents faces. This is all much too sensible and collegiate. Get him!!

Look, party leaders will wax lyrical until blue – or red – in the face on the need to end Punch and Judy politics, to “do things differently”. But give them a few months in the job, facing down a recalcitrant back bench, a stuttering economy and a back office row, and they’ll realise the art of whipping up a crowd at midday on a Wednesday is just as vital as ever. 

Until then, I’ll be holding on to my popcorn.