Valerie Bertinelli had to work through 'trauma and drama' before she could fall in love again

Valerie Bertinelli is dating again after experiencing "trauma and drama" in her last marriage, explaining that she had to work through issues in order to open herself up to love.

Apr 1, 2024 - 17:14
Valerie Bertinelli had to work through 'trauma and drama' before she could fall in love again

Valerie Bertinelli is a woman in love.

The actress and TV personality is opening up about her new relationship, explaining how she moved on from imagining herself remaining single for the rest of her life to letting a new man into her heart.

"I want to be clear that this process has taken a long time," Bertinelli told People in a new interview. "I got more intentional about my healing. "That meant a lot of walks with [my dog] Luna, a lot of therapy sessions, a lot of learning that I deserve to feel good."

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"First came the work," she continued. "Why I thought I didn't deserve to be loved. Why I was using food to numb my feelings. All the drama and trauma I hadn’t dealt with — with Ed and my last marriage."

"Ed" refers to Eddie Van Halen, her first husband and the father of her only child, Wolfgang Van Halen. Her last marriage was to financial planner Tom Vitale — she's been open about the difficult times she experienced in their relationship.

In an excerpt from her upcoming cookbook, "Indulge," excerpted by People, she wrote, "The more I let myself cry, the better I felt. I wasn’t trying to be happy or sad or thin. I wasn’t trying to be anything other than who I was." 

"The cookbook was an offshoot of the emotional and mental healing I‘ve been doing," she explained in her interview, later adding, "I know we’re talking about a cookbook, but this cookbook got me through all of it."

After doing so much emotional work, she learned to love herself again, and in doing so, she was able to open herself up to being loved by someone else.

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Her new boyfriend, who she didn't name, is a writer located on the East Coast. She met him on Instagram a few years ago, and they began talking. 

"It was strictly platonic," she said, "but there was something about him that I connected with that felt familiar."

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Earlier this year, Bertinelli and her new beau took things offline and began making phone calls to each other. From there, things became romantic. 

"It’s crazy the comfort level," she gushed. "It feels incredibly right."

"I’m in love," she admitted. "It’s a seesaw of emotions because I was adamant I was never falling in love again. I was supposed to die with my six cats and my dog, and very happily live the rest of my years alone — I'm good alone."

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Still, she seems to be very happy with her new romance, revealing, "My belly is flip-flopping. This was not supposed to happen."

The "Hot in Cleveland" star has spoken out about the difficulties she had in her marriage to Vitale several times, even telling Hoda Kotb in a 2022 interview on the "Today" show that she was done with love.

"I am gonna be more than happy to be happily divorced and spend the rest of my life alone," she said. "I'll be happy that way. Well, with my six cats and my dog and my son, and hopefully one day grandchildren."

When she was asked if she'd look for love again, Bertinelli responded, "Oh God, no."

"Because of the challenges that I'm going through right now, because divorce sucks, I can't imagine ever trusting anyone again to let into my life. So I have some trust issues that I'm sure I'm going to have to get past."