Why women in business need to get better at saying no

Too many women still believe being successful means sacrificing your personal life – it’s time we learned that disappointing others is a good habit to develop, says Viviane Paxinos

For too long, society has perpetuated the belief that to be successful, women must give up their personal lives and wellbeing. We’re told the price of ambition is burnout, stress, and sacrifice. I refuse to accept this as the norm. 

Why do we take such a binary view of life? We’ve been convinced it must be one or the other – work or wellbeing. We must recognise women can have both a thriving career and a fulfilling personal life. Throughout my career journey, I’ve learnt to do less in order to do more. I’m on a mission to inspire all women to do the same. 

The 2024 workplace burnout epidemic is a stark reminder we need to change the way we approach success. The AllBright Future of Work survey showed 40 per cent of women in the workplace are looking to leave their current role. A study by Mental Health UK showed almost one in four women feel entirely burnt out, only 44 per cent believing their workplace has resources to prevent exhaustion in the first place.   

Several key factors contribute to this epidemic. Firstly, the rapid pace of technological change has led to a 24/7 work culture. The lines between our work and personal lives have become increasingly blurred, leading to additional stress, pressure, and exhaustion.

Second, the persistent gender wage gap and lack of representation in leadership positions adds pressure on women to prove their worth. On average, women in the UK earn £574 less monthly than their male counterparts, a yearly deficit of £6,888. A recent FTSE Women Leaders report showed just 10 FTSE 100 CEOs are women. Though progress has been made in other areas, there is still work to be done. 

Finally, societal expectations and gender roles place a disproportionate burden of caregiving and household responsibilities on women, further exacerbating the challenge of achieving work/life balance. A 2023 TUC analysis revealed one in 10 women are out of the workforce entirely due to caregiving responsibilities. Furthermore, whilst three-quarters of respondents to a 2023 British Social Attitudes survey believed household responsibilities should be shared, only one-third believed they are. 

To address this crisis, women must learn to blend their professional ambitions with personal wellbeing, without sacrificing career development. 

This is about choice and presence. Women must set clear boundaries. I often say disappointing others is a good habit to cultivate. Say ‘no’ when you need to. I was due to go abroad next week for a business trip, then come back quickly for a board meeting and keynote speech later in the day. I decided to step away from my trip. I know if I go, I won’t be truly present, I’ll be thinking of other commitments. So yes, I have disappointed others. But in return, I have preserved my energy and chosen what’s most important to me.  

We must prioritise self-care and advocate for women’s needs. Women should not hesitate to seek support from mentors, colleagues, and professional networks. Part of avoiding burnout is surrounding yourself with a strong network or mentor that can listen. Surround yourself with people who make you feel 10 feet tall. Having a great network to gain advice, seek support, or just make you laugh, will make a world of difference. 

It’s important to embrace flexible work arrangements, such as remote work or adjusted schedules. This enables employees to manage their personal and professional commitments. However, the onus cannot solely be on flexibility. It’s about creating a culture people want to be a part of. When you work hard for something you believe in, it’s because you’re passionate. But working hard for something you don’t leads to stress. A company with a great culture is magic, and fuels you positively. 

Investing in employee wellbeing is not only right but offers significant benefits for businesses. Companies that prioritise employees’ physical and mental health experience increased productivity, reduced absenteeism, and higher employee retention rates. Moreover, by supporting women’s career advancement and wellbeing, businesses can tap into a diverse talent pool and foster an inclusive, innovative workplace culture.

I challenge you all to think about the legacy you want to leave the next generation of leaders. I want to leave one of empowerment and ambition. The burnout epidemic is a wake-up call that we need to change the way we approach success. By disrupting the narrative that ambition comes at the cost of wellbeing, we can empower women to pursue their dreams without compromising their health and happiness. 

Viviane Paxinos is CEO of AllBright, the world’s largest collective of women in business